Maybe I should tell you how I came to have my flaccid penis enveloped in the mouth of an Italian lady. I was nervous about meeting her, I suppose. Hence the alcohol. Hence the flaccid penis.
Then her queer roommate brought me breakfast in bed - bran flakes, OJ... a croissant? Very continental anyway, whatever it was.
Goddamn it I cannot seem to get comfortable right now. Have I been awake too long? Was my bath too hot? At least I'm not itchy.
I think the roommate was probably Italian also. Had he taken a shine to me?
The covers slide off me. Nothing sits right. My flesh writhes, it's maddening...
The DVD player is broken. Lying down and listening to SYR8 does not seem to be an option (my bedroom currently lacks a bed). I am way too irritable to lie on the floor right now. I shall be ready for sleep soon. Perhaps after imagining an odious carnal deed with a certain doe-eyed brunette lassie. Disclaimer: this is not autobiographical.
Tables, other objects. They collide, make sickening sounds. This offends me right now.
So, I fingered her vagina. The Italian lassie, that is. Can still recall the smell. Afterward she thanked me, a gesture I found oddly formal (if gratifying). Her had big titties. Me likey to squeeze them. She took my flaccid penis in her mouth for a short while. If only she could have been more patient, damn it! I may have 'risen' to the occasion, get it? Risen! AHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Wonder where she would've had me deposit me come? Doesn't bear thinking about now, I suppose. Still, one remains curious...

Then there was the Scottish lassie who wanked me off all over her tummy. Her was purdy. I held her urgently as I offloaded all that gunk on her supple young belly. Christ, it was glorious.
Now, the Norwegian lass, she took my come in her mouth and in her pussy. Her knew how to please a man.
The Kiwi lass, she seemed a bit mental, aye. What a great fuck. Awesome body. Cute face. Would've loved to have come all over it. Alas, I have never committed such an odious deed. I did 'come' close on one occasion. So to speak. Get it? Come. LOLZ! I did enjoy thrusting my hard dick into her tight, wet pussy. FYI. Climaxed fairly quickly on several occasions I should probably be ashamed to admit. Too excitable. The Swedish lassie laughed at this. It was a frustrated laugh.
Blowjobs are awesome. Coming feels nice. Isn't this the most insightful piece of prose you ever read?